I had a bit of a revelation today. I was chatting (online) with Anne, my “bosslady” over at Rue Magazine. We were discussing an upcoming shoot, and I essentially had to assure her (after using a few too many exclamation points demonstrating my excitement) that I wouldn’t embarrass her by being a total fangirly-overenthused mess.
Just as I was promising Anne I wouldn’t be the intern from hell, the lovely Sam, a friend from college showed up. I told her to hang on a sec, since I was reassuring my boss that I’d be well-behaved and house-trained for our shoot. She mentioned, casually, that I’m really perky online. I must have looked at her like a lightbulb just went on over my head, and I had a total “well, DUH!” moment.
See, in real life, I’m reallly chill. Like, I’d rather hang out in my pj’s and watch movies than go out kind of chill. Granted, I can be silly, but only when the situation warrants it (like dancing in Forever 21 with Megan or hanging with mi madre).
Online, though, I tend to come off as that overenthused fangirl. So far, it’s mostly worked in my favor… it’s helped me to get jobs, meet amazing people, and have some pretty incredible opportunities. But I have to remind myself (often) that not everyone is a) as welcoming with open arms as I am and that b) not everyone is online all the time, nor do they want to be bugged about something that might seem crazy exciting to me but is of zero interest to them.
It’s a fine balance, and one I’m apparently not maintaining as well as I’d hoped. I’m trying to be more positive in person (no more Negative Nancies here!) but I’m also nowhere near the cheerleader level of perk that I can reach online. Am I still motivated, dedicated, excited, friendly, and crazy loyal offline? Hells yes. Will I literally be jumping for joy at the prospect of meeting someone, or doing something? Hells no. (Unless you’re The Bloggess, but she knows this already. I think.) Also, I’m very good at adapting my behavior (and my language, ha) for the situation… like meeting a boyfriend’s parents, or a job interview… or an important photo shoot.
So there you have it. Even me, who’s pretty much the openest of open books online, has apparently written a few of those chapters in a tone that’s just a bit… unrealistic. I may love you, and may be ecstatic over something, but I’m no Perky Barbie over here. I’m just regular old, often-too-serious-for-my-own-good, but always totally sincere Linz, plain and simple.